It all came about when I was chatting over facebook with my bf from high school, Claire. We were chatting about simple life things like how we are doing and yada yada. She asked “how have you been feeling lately?” (she knew I had been having a few tired days.)
I replied, “really tired today, but doing great.”
She replied with “my dad is here and he just asked me to ask you how the sternum is doing.” (her dad was my surgeon when I had open-heart.)
“Tell your dad that it pops once in a while.” A few minutes go by and she came back and said, “my dad says he wants to have you come in to his office so he can see why you’re tired and what’s going on with your sternum, so here is his number...call him.”
I said ok and we said our goodbyes.
The next week I went in to see Dr. Cain and he sent me in to have an ECO done and to set up an appointment with my cardiologist and that was that. The next days go by with work and sleep. The day before my cardio. app. I was at work and I get a call from the dr.s office (I answer expecting it to be just the usual “just reminding you about your appointment tomorrow.”) but it wasn’t. Instead the call is “Just calling to let you know that you had an abnormal ECO and that Dr. Collado will talk with you about it tomorrow.” WHAT!?!?!? I have an abnormal ECO...you don’t just call someone and say that. I didn’t know what to think except the worst that I would have to go through surgery again. My family reassured me over and over that it would be fine and not to worry, so I tried to relax and just be patient till I knew for sure.
I woke-up the next morning and Ty and I went to the dr.s. We sat waiting in the cold sterile room wondering what would make my test results come back abnormal. I sat there shaking my legs, biting my nails, biting my lower lip, and on the verge of tears. This really was too much stress for me, just tell me now, don’t make me wait any longer. Dr. Collado came in, shook our hands and sat across from us and very plainly said “Now the ECO came back abnormal, something I didn’t want to see. The hole that was patched up has re-opened and widened out.” I had to catch my breath and then hold it to stop any tears from leaking through my eyes.
I replied in a very shaky voice, “okay, so what does that mean?”
He replied, “you are going to have to have surgery again, there is no way around it.”
I laughed and said, “I had a feeling.” I chuckled some more not knowing why I wasn’t crying, this isn’t something one wants to hear, but that is how I handle stress...laugh it off. We spent another hour looking at the test results with him and discussing what would need to be done and then we left the hospital with too many emotions running through us, a heart monitor that I was now to wear constantly for the next month, and more doctor appointments to go to. The rest of the day is a complete blur and honestly can’t recall what I did.
Our next appointment was back with Dr. Cain. He walked into his office and before even sitting down he looked at me and my parents and said, “I am not touching this. I cannot do this surgery.” WHAT!?!?!? I looked at him with a complete blank stare, what do I say to that. He continued saying, “I have looked over the test results and I can’t do it. I have given your results to my co-workers and others and they won’t touch it also. No one here at IHC will do it.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? “So then what’s the next step?” After about 20 minutes we were told both Cain and Collado would search for a surgeon who would be specialized enough to perform the kind of surgery I need.
The next month was crazy. After many phone calls, appointments, and more phone calls we found out that there was no one in the state of Utah specialized enough to do the surgery. Now what?? It came down to having the surgery in Minnesota at the Mayo Clinic. After many more calls with doctors, insurance agencies, and the Mayo Clinic we finally got a call saying they had a surgeon perfect for my case and that they would set it up. A few minutes later we received a call from the new surgeons office with a date and time AUGUST 26 at 5:45 AM.
So now (after many days and hours of crying my eyes out from stress and everything else) I am gearing up for round 2 of open-heart surgery. I am so incredibly nervous that I can’t even explain it. My insides are tied up in knots, I don’t sleep well, I cry (more than usual), I can’t think straight, and I am just a mess. I try to laugh it off and make it seem like it is not impacting me that much, but the truth is, is that this is tearing me apart. I am often told that it will be better this time round cause I know what to expect, but honestly that tends to make it worse. I know the pain that I will be up against, and that I won’t be able to do all that I can now for a couple of weeks after (like showering, sleeping on my stomach, turning my head, using my arms to their full capacity, running, walking at a quick pace, brushing my hair, brushing my teeth, doing my make-up, and more). I know I am in for many sleepless nights, for tubes coming out of my body in various places, IVs all over my body, sponge baths, constant and at times excruciating pain, nasty tastes in my mouth, and half of stuff I have blocked from my memory.
But despite all of the stress and emotional and mental trauma I am enduring now (and the physical trauma I will soon be enduring) I am so thankful that the problem was found. I am thankful to Dr. Cain for having me come in to see him and doing that test out of the blue, which without his help I wouldn’t have found out. I am thankful for my doctors and the concern they have had for me. For helping me find a qualified surgeon, for their calls to make sure I am okay and to tell me when they news on anything. They have been great. I am more than ever thankful for Ty and my family and extended family. They have all been great comforts to me (even though I still freak out most of the time). It is going to be quite the adventure here in just a month as we head to Minnesota for “vacation” (as my fam puts it). I will do my best to keep everyone up to date on my status on facebook but don’t be alarmed if it takes a week or two as the first few days after surgery are horrible and I can’t do much. It’s gonna be great :)
